


Mr and real Mrs Mxyzptlk

by akane171



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Humor, Totally not sorry, basically all of them have a really bad day, even J'onn, past s3 so AU, some sexual content, there is a lot of kissing, this is probably the craziest (and funniest) thing I've written so far
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-18 02:14:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14202840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akane171/pseuds/akane171
Summary: Mr Mxyzptlk is back but surprisingly he’s not the person who screws Kara and Mon-El’s lives in the most spectacular way. Let’s just say that Kara may die from embarrassment in the worst day of her life and Mon-El learns that revenge tastes best served cold. The rest of the squad may die too. From laughter.





	Mr and real Mrs Mxyzptlk

**Author's Note:**

  * For [yeratimelord_katniss](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeratimelord_katniss/gifts).



> AU story that takes place after s3, in which Reign was defeated, Sam was saved, Legion said sayonara and went back to the future *cough* where is their place *cough* and Imra and Mon canceled their so called “marriage”. Oh, and Mon got his job at the bar back.  
> Mon and Kara’s POV’s switch rather rapidly, so don’t get confused :)  
> Also, this is a b-day gift for my beloved, one and only beta yeratimelord_katniss. Love you ;*

**Mr and real Mrs Mxyzptlk**

 

 

Kara smiled when she entered the alien’s bar. It was 3am, she’s just finished her last Supergirl job and decided to check on her friend.

Friends did things like that. It was nothing unusual. More importantly, the alien bar was on her way home. And she remembered he had a shift that night. And kind of knew he was still at the bar, because she used her superhearing from time to time and heard him humming the _Immigrant Song._

 _Nothing a friend would not do_ , she told herself, staring at his back… and maybe a little lower... while he was wiping a table.

She sighed. A little dreamily, maybe.

“A tough day?” he asked without turning.

“Nah, just few robberies and a drunken dude who almost fell out from a bridge,” she shrugged and approached him. “How about you?”

“Well, we all survived Bolovaxians party, that’s a plus,” he chuckled and finally faced her, “But they drank almost all of our strongest alcohol. And we may need a bathroom renovation.”

“That bad?”

“Some inappropriate graffitis on walls. Involving chickens,” he said in a serious tone, but sparks of amusement were dancing in his eyes and she just had to laugh.

It was so wonderful to have him back. Laugh like that. See him working in bar, chatting with clients… maybe not with all. Some of the females were annoying and were disturbing his work with their flivarious behavior. But where was she? Oh, yeah. And it was so nice to have him as her co-hero. Flying beside him and kicking asses. Asses… Right. And  well, after the Legion had left, he started to be more like his old, more cheerful self... not that his broody, more serious self was bad. Not at all, especially that beard. It looked nice, even good and-

 _I want to rub it. With both hands. Repeatedly_ \- a traitorous, little voice said inside her head.

 _In a FRIENDLY way!_ \- immediately the reasonable part of herself fired back.

 _Yeah, yeah_ \- the traitor hummed.

“So, how’s the Lord of The Rings?” Kara cleared her throat and ended the very creepy and very unhealthy conversation in her head.

“Great. I’m reading the part where Nazguls fly on their beasts for the first time. I would totally play garata against them.”

Kara chuckled because of this ridiculous idea, but before she could answer, the lights flickered, an orchestra playing some romantic melody appeared in the corner, candles and flowers materialised everywhere and -

Kara looked horrified at Mon-El who turned white.

“Rao, no!” they exclaimed together.

But well, Rao didn’t give a shit.

“Kara Zor-El! My future wife!”

Kara groaned and slowly turned to see, yes, the most annoying individual in the whole multiversum.

“My dear,” Mxyzptlk (who else?) kneeled in front of her, grabbed her hand and kissed it (Kara was too shocked to react),”Our last encounter was unexpectedly and unwantedly aborted-”

“She outsmarted you and sent your ass back to your dimension,” Mon-El said matter-of-factly.

Mxy jumped to his feet, “What is the blandsome still doing here?” He asked and Kara picked up the dangerous note in his voice. Like when he sent Mon-El to the DEO the last time.

 _Oh no!_ She needed to do something or Mon-El was going to end on the bottom of The Dead Sea this time! Why he couldn’t let her handle this?!

But, before she could say a thing, he surprised her:

“You know what? Sorry for interrupting, please continue. I’ll just do my thing,” he said and returned behind the bar counter, ignoring Kara’s shocked expression and the imp, watching him suspiciously.

 _He was a mature, experienced guy who had been doing his hero job for the last 8 years. Kara could handle the imp without him. And he was not annoyed and absolutely not jealous. He was calm like a stone. Not even slightly pissed off. Yep_ \- he told himself, pouring aldebaran rum into a glass and rising it to his lips.

And them the imp started to recite a love poem for Supergirl.

Mon-El put the glass down and poured the liquid to the top. And then drank it with one loud gulp.

Kara eyed him suspiciously. He wasn’t jealous? Not even a little _bit_? He was just there, drinking? And he didn’t mind Mxy’s love declarations? Like he didn’t care at all?

And then her attention snapped back, because Mxy said something about... babies?

“What?”  

“Babies. Ours. A son and a daughter that will rule the multiverse!”

The glass in Mon-El’s hand shattered into a dust. “Oops,” he said grimly. “Did you choose the names already?“ he asked kindly, not gritting his teeth. Not at all.

Kara’s jaw fell wide open.

“And who is going to be the godparents?” a new cheerful voice asked suddenly.

Kara blinked and looked at the newcomer - a beautiful redhead that was sitting on one of the tables with crossed legs and a sexy smile on her very pink lips.

“YOU!” Mxy shouted and pointed finger at the woman. “You’re not going to crush my wedding plans!”

The woman rolled her green eyes, “What plans? You said you were going for a vacation.”

“And you didn’t believe me and followed me here! What happened to trust?!”

“Uhm, I’m sorry but who are you?” Kara said, confused.

“My name is Gsptlsnz and I’m his wife.” The woman smiled when Kara’s brows reached her hairline.

“You’re what?”

“Kara Zor-El, don’t listen to her!” Mxy grabbed Kara’s hands again, “We are married in the 5th dimension, it doesn’t count in this one!”

Kara blinked trying to proceed the whole situation.

First of all, Mxy was a freaking polygamist. Secondly, he had a wife, which made him another married dude on the list of guys who were interested in her. Thirdly, the woman was gorgeous, like you know, the other woman, whose name _she didn’t want to remember_. Lastly, the woman was clearly another creature from the 5th dimension. Conclusion?

She was cursed.

 _Dear Rao, have some mercy!_ (too bad Rao still didn’t give a fuck)

“Wow, that’s even more screwed than my marriage with Imra,” Mon-El laughed but stopped when Gsptlsnz suddenly appeared in front of him and put her hands on his cheeks. And rubbed his beard? Uhm? And then her hands traveled to his neck and stopped on his chest. UHM?!

At this moment, his brain concluded that Mon-El was screwed.

And then, she grabbed his shirt and kissed him.

Hard.

With tongue.

When she finally let go of him, he coughed out a small puff of green smoke.

And then his brain concluded waifuly that Mon-El was a walking corpse.

Not because a 5th dimension extremely powerful creature just kissed him in front of her husband. Not because that mentioned extremely powerful husband was watching them with shocked expression and his jaw hanging wide open. Nope.

He was dead because extremely powerful and pissed off Kara Zor-El was charging at them with a promise of murder in her ice-cold eyes.

“YOU-” she growled at Gsptlsnz and grabbed her shoulder.

But the redhead blew a puff of the same green smoke at Kara’s face and smiled mischievously.

“Let the fun begin!” she said, grabbed their heads and knocked them together.

Kara and Mon-El collapsed to the floor, both unconscious.

Gsptlsnz turned to Mr Mxyzptlk, winked and disappeared.

Mxy sadly looked at his future wife and disappeared too.

*

Her head hurt like hell.

This was the first thing Kara thought when she regained her consciousness. She tried to open her eyes but everything was blurred and the brightness of the room made her sick.

Kara closed her eyes and groaned weakly.

“You’re up, good,” she heard Alex’s voice.

“What happened?” Kara asked and winced because her voice sounded super _weird_.

“Winn detected some strange anomalies in the bar, so we sent a team there. They found you and Kara unconscious on the floor.”

“Mr. Mxyzptlk is back,” she groaned with a hoarse voiced and slowly sat up, with her eyes still closed.

Gods, her body felt heavy and _outstretched_. What a bizarre feeling.

“Thank God, Kara is waking up too.”

 _Kara_ ? _But she was Kara. Was she hearing things now? Did she get a concussion or something?_

“I’m awake, Alex” she groaned and put her face into her hands and-

What did she have on her cheeks? It felt like... a beard.

“Kara? What the hell are you doing?” she heard Alex’s confused voice.

“I’m not doing anything, I-” she growled and finally opened her eyes and looked at Alex, with her hands still on her face, rubbing the unfamiliar, scratchy thing.

And then she froze because she saw the oddest thing in her entire life.

She saw her clone.

On the next bed was a girl who looked exactly like Kara, sitting and staring at her chest. The girl raised her hands very slowly, put them on her breasts and squeezed them lightly. Then she looked at Alex with big, shocked eyes and said:

“I have boobs, why do I have boobs?” she sounded comprehensively astonished.

“I think we may need to scan your head again,” Alex said with furrowed brows and then turned to Kara, “Mon-El? Are you ok?”

Kara froze.

And slowly looked at her chest.

It was flat. Like the flattest thing in the universe.

On the other hand there was _something_ between her legs. _Something_ not familiar and very disturbing.

Kara felt the panic rapidly rising inside of her, a horrible realization knocking at her skull. She looked at her clone, who was still squashing her breasts and smiling dumbly.

“Wow, we are fucked.” The imposter, who apparently was not the imposter but Mon-El in HER body, said and started laughing hysterically.

Kara screamed.

*

“Can you calm down and stop running circles? Watching you makes me dizzy,” Alex sighed and massaged her forehead.

“Calm down? CALM DOWN?” Kara cried, pacing angrily around the room. “My body was stolen and- MON-EL, STOP TOUCHING MY BREASTS!” she yelled at… well, at herself. Kind of.

“If I do this-” Mon-El totally ignored her and with hands on the breasts, pushed his… Kara’s… whatever, chest a little, “then I can’t see my stomach. It’s fascinating,” he said amazed. “And chill,” he sighed before Kara could yell at him again. “It’s not like I wake up with breasts every morning. And you can do whatever you want with my body,” he said flatly, looking at his chest.

“You-you-!” Kara pointed him angrily with her finger and opened her mouth but said nothing. Then she put hands on her head and screamed.

Some dust fell from the ceiling and glass in whole room shook dangerously.

“Man, it’s so weird to see you... or Kara? like that,” Winn whispered to Mon-El who was watching her with furrowed brows.

“Please, tell me I don’t make sounds like that,” Mon-El said a little disturbed, because dear Rao…

Kara let the hands fell down and stared at Mon-El with murderous look in her eyes. Weirdly, he was totally unfazed.

“Uhm, Mon, I think she’s going to kill you if you’re not more careful,” Winn murmured.

Mon-El shrugged, “She’s not going to hurt her body,” he said and Kara screamed angrily again, this time one of the monitors exploded.

J’onn pinched the bridge of his nose, “They don’t pay me enough for this,” he sighed.

“I want my body back!”

“Ok, any ideas how to take Mon-El out from Kara’s body and-” J’onn blinked and for the first time in the DEO’s history he looked slightly flustrated. “Uhm. I mean...”

Alex tried to cover her chuckles with coughing. Winn’s shoulders were shaking violently. Kara, in Mon-El’s body, turned red. Mon-El, in Kara’s body, blinked confusedly.

“Wait, what am I missing? Why are you laughing?”

“DON’T!” Kara screamed, when Alex opened her mouth to enlighten her alien friend.

“Any ideas how to solve this problem?” J’onn sighed again.

“Nope. No ideas how to remove a _Daxamite_ from _Kryptonian’s_ body,” Alex said seriously, she was hugging herself tightly and trying to surpass chuckles. “Maybe- maybe we should call Clark for help, he’s going to be delighted,”  Alex said and bursted out with laughter.

“Agent Danvers,” J’onn looked disapprovingly at her. “Should I remind you that you’re in a workplace? If you don’t have any ideas, please check if your help is not needed somewhere else.”

“No, sir. Sorry, sir,” she said still chuckling and left the room, followed but very angry Kara’s eyes.

“I still don’t-” Mon-El started but Winn clasped a hand on his mouth.

“Right, so I don’t think we can do anything right now. I mean, Mr Mxyzptlk and his wife are very mischievous and intelligent creatures and came here for a reason, so maybe we should uhm, just wait and see?”

“Wait? WAIT? Are you mad?!”

“Chill, Kara,” Mon-El rolled his eyes. “It’s nothing we can do now and you’re overreacting.”

“I’m. Not. Overreacting,” she said, clearly overreacting, “I’m just _concerned_.”

Mon-El tilted his head and looked at her fascinated, “You crinkle even in my body.”

“I’m not crinkling!”

“Yes, you are.”

And they started arguing.

“My brain is frying,” Winn said to J’onn, moving his eyes from one to another, like he was watching a ping pong game.

J’onn didn’t answer, just nodded.

Watching Mon-El, in Kara’s body arguing with Kara, in Mon-El’s body, making typical for Kara faces, while Mon-El in Kara’s body was answering with his typical manner was… disturbing.

“Uhm, sir?” DEO agent popped in, “There is a robbery and we need Supergirl’s help.”

“Thank Rao!” Kara cried, outstretched her arm, made _that_ move like when she wanted to start flying and -

Fell on her face.

“Oh, I didn’t bring my ring to work,” Mon-El said, hopped off from the bed and-

Fell flat on his ass.

“What the-” he said confused and looked at his feet. He had high heels on. “How the fuck do women walk wearing this?”

Winn coughed into his fist and J’onn looked disapprovingly at the ceiling.

“Agent Schott, please call the Guardian. I’ll assist him,” he said and turned into Martian Manhunter. And then flew out the room. Rather quickly.

Winn looked at Mon-El, who was trying (unsuccessfully) to get up from the floor, then at Kara who was standing now and looking weirdly… at her… crotch.

“Uhm, I’ll call James and, uhm, yeah,” he said and ran out from the room.

He seriously didn’t want to witness that anymore.

Meanwhile, Mon-El figured out what to do and simply took off the high heels.

“Gods, why do women torture themselves with this shit?” he murmured under his breath and stood up.

And then squealed because Kara appeared in front of him in a blink of an eye.

“You have a problem,” she said in a panicked voice.

“Like, only one?” he raised a brow in a very Mon-El way.

“No, you don’t understand,” she moaned, grabbed his arm and started dragging him out of the room.

*

“I seriously don’t understand where the problem is,” Mon-El said two minutes later, when Kara described the issue.

They were standing in the bathroom, Mon-El with a dumbfounded expression on his face, holding the high heels in one hand, and Kara standing near the lavatory, looking totally embarrassed.

“You just need to take-”

“IT!” Kara cried, red from the toes to her hairline.

Mon-El sighed and closed his eyes, “IT out from the pants and piss. Easy peasy,” sometimes he forgot what a prude Kara could be.

“But-but! I need to touch IT,” she cried.

“And?” he asked unfazed, “Kara, I remind you that you touched IT few times already in the past. Not only with your hands-”

“NOT A WORD!”

Mon-El sighed again and looked at Kara, who became redder and was tugging the sleeves of his favorite shirt. Gods, he was never ever going to make faces like that, because aesthetical reasons. Kara in her body looked cute with faces like that, but him? Big fat nope. Like a pug that ate a lemon.

“Do you want me to take IT out for you?” he asked finally and approached her.

“What?! NO!”  

“I’ll hold it and you will just do the rest, seriously,” he said and reached for the zipper.

”NO! Stay away from me, you pervert!” she tried to brush his hands away.

“What pervert? It’s my body!” he successfully unzipped it.

“IT’S MINE NOW! Stay away!”

“For Rao’s sake, Kara! Do you want to piss in the pants?”

“It’s better than your filthy hands on... IT!”

“Those are my pants, so no pissing into them! Ha!” he cried victoriously when he successfully sneaked hand into his pants (because they were his pants, thank you very much).

Exactly in that moment the door burst open and a team of DEO’s agents lead by Alex ran into the bathroom with  guns ready to fire.

Kara turned white. Mon-El blinked. Someone gasped dramatically. Another dropped the gun to the floor. Someone made an unidentified sound. Someone called God. Someone muttered “finally!”.

And there was Alex.

“Oh for fuck’s sake! I can’t believe it! You can’t keep your hands off of each other even after you switched the bodies?! That’s freaking gross! And in front of my eyes! We thought Mxy attacked you and you- EWW! What’s wrong with both of you?!” she put a hand on her eyes, “Jesus, this is going to be imprinted in my brain for the damned eternity.”

“You don’t understand! We are not doing IT!” Kara cried, with Mon-El’s hand still in inside of the pants.

“Yes, we are,” Mon-El said totally confused.

“Oh, God! Abort, abort, abort!” Alex shouted and started kicking the agents out of the bathroom.

“But the fun has just begun, ma’am,” one of them complained.

“We’ve been waiting for the hot stuff for ages,” another added sadly.

“We made bets!”

“That’s super kinky!”

“But-! But-! I can explain!” Kara cried after their retrieving backs.

“Don’t you dare!” Alex shivered, “Go home, seriously. I don’t want to see anything like that ever again!” the door shut after her ass. Both aliens heard her muttering under her breath about needing to relax and maybe calling Sam.

Mon-El, still with his, yes, hand in the pants, looked at Kara.

A red Kara, this time from the rage, stared at him hard.

“You are going to yell at me again,” he sounded completely surrendered to his fate.

She yelled at him again.

*

After that they went to Kara’s loft, because the Kryptonian imprisoned in Daxamite’s body refused to do IT in the DEO. So, Mon-El did the only thing that could help. He dragged her into her bathroom, turned on the shower, asked her to strip, left and prayed the nature was going to find a way.

And now, he was sitting on the couch, with his face in his hands (it was weird not feeling his beard, but instead this smooth, amazingly velvet skin) and plotting the imp’s painful and horrible death and this time no one, even Kara, was going to stop him.

Things between him and Kara were getting better and better in the past few months. He knew she needed time. He knew she was hurt. He knew starting a relationship with him again was probably scaring her. Hell, he was scared. And he was ok with it. He could wait for ages, if she needed that.

But he knew that the friendship they shared now - the movie nights at her place, the talking when they were alone at the bar just before closing, the training sessions, the endless teasings, the fighting side by side - it was all amazing but not enough. He knew that. She knew that. And they both knew they were slowly getting _there_. At least he hoped so.

It was going smoothly until the imp’s return.

And now, now he was wondering if Kara even liked him at all. She refused to touch him…well, his body. Like he was poisonous. Or gross. And she called him a pervert. Ok, they were arguing but still.

Mon-El groaned and rested his forehead on his knees.

His pathetic musings were interrupted when someone knocked to the door. He got up and opened them, because there was no need to be rude, right?

He expected to see one of Kara’s neighbours asking for a cup of sugar or something. What he didn’t expect was one and only Lena Luthor standing on the doormat.

 _Grife_.

“Lena, hi!” he said with a high pitched voice that totally didn’t sound like Kara’s.

“What’s wrong with your voice?” Lena furrowed her brows and entered the loft.

“Nothing? I have a little cold,” Mon-El said and faked a cough.

 _“Lena is here? Don’t do anything stupid!”_ he heard Kara’s panicked voice from the bathroom.

“Sorry to bother, but I need a favor,” Lena faced him with a very untypical look on her face. Like she was nervous.

_Lena Luthor nervous? The gods hated him, obviously._

“Of course, anything you need,” he smiled like Kara (he hoped).

“Right,” she looked at him weirdly, so he stopped smiling. “It’s about James. You know he’s great. Very noble and a real gentleman?”

“Yes,” Mon-El said slowly, dreading where this conversation was heading to. From the noises Kara was making in the bathroom, she was horrified too.

Lena hesitated for a second, but she collected herself quickly. “Well, I have a- I don’t really know how to say it.”

“Just do it, the simpler the better,” Mon-El said and smiled because yes!, that was a good advice.

“I want to have sex with James,” Lena blurted out.

Mon-El heard Kara choking on air in the bathroom. He ignored it and asked kindly, totally not grasping the problem:

“And?”

Lena blinked, “And, well, we kiss, a lot actually, and he is such wonderful kisser-” Mon-El didn’t comment and tried not to imagine things.  “And had some make outs in the office and were on few wonderful dates but he stops every time things get heated and- and I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m not sure if he’s even attracted to me?” she ended and looked at Mon-El helplessly.

_“Oh God! Oh God! Don’t panic! Just tell her he-he-he likes to take things slow and doesn’t want to rush things! And he’s probably just waiting for the PERFECT moment, because she’s perfect and-”_

Mon-El stopped listening to Kara, because he knew the problem from the other side.

A week ago he, James and Winn went for a beer and after drinking a few bottles the CatCo number one photographer slurred how Lena was amazing, brilliant, generous, beautiful and hot and all he wanted was making sweet, sweet love to her, he just was not sure if he wasn’t rushing things, because he didn’t want to scare her off and the drunken list was going on.

What the hell was wrong with Earthlings and their sex problems was beyond him.

The solution was impossibly simple. The problem? Kara was going to skin him alive. But well, she hated him already, so who cared.

“Just fuck him,” he said flatly and watched how’s Lena jaw fell wide open. “Climb him like a tree, seriously.”

And then the door to the bathroom almost popped out from the hinges and very wet Kara ran out of it, breathing heavily and staring at Mon-El like she wanted to, well, murder him with her bare hands. She was clutching a towel around the hips. It was the only piece of cloth on her (his?) very wet body.

“Mon-El? Oh,” Lena said looking between them, “Oh… OH! Oh my God! I interrupted you! I’m sorry, I should go and oh god!” She blabbered heading to the door, “I want to know all the details! And finally! I was rooting for you two so much,” she whispered to Mon-El’s ear when she hugged him and then quickly left them alone.

“Mon-El!” Kara screamed and he winced, “What the hell did you think you were doing?!” she used her superspeed and grabbed his shirt.

With both hands.

“Why did you say that?! Now Lena will think- Rao, she will think I’m-”

“You’re naked,” he said matter-of-factly.

“What?”

“You dropped the towel on the floor.”

Kara blinked and looked down. And then shrieked and speeded back to the bathroom.

But not fast enough - he saw her… his naked ass. He had a great ass. Which didn’t really make him feel any better. _Wait_. He furrowed his brows. Was it weird he was thinking that about his own ass? Did it make him narcissistic? But it wasn’t like he could see his ass like that everyday.

His idiotic thoughts were interrupted by a ringing phone. Alex name was flashing on the screen.

“Yes?” he asked tiredly, bracing himself for another tragedy.

“You need to come back to the DEO right now!”

*

The DEO didn’t look like the DEO.

Every free wall was draped with blue and red veils, candles and flowers were everywhere, the orchestra was playing on the balcony, some white pigeons were flying here and there and pink confetti was falling from the ceiling like snow.  

All DEO’s agents were wearing clothes, wigs and make ups that suited XVIII France, even J’onn (with a very sour look on his face), Winn and Alex (her facial expression matched J’onn’s). Near the balcony a violently shivering and very white (makeup-less) priest was standing.

Mr Mxyzptlk was waiting patiently on the bottom of the stairs.

“You’ve got to be shitting me,” Mon-El moaned when he and Kara entered the main hall.

He was going to kill the imp. Rip his spine out. Dig claws into his eyes. Castrate him.

But Kara was faster.

“Give me my body back, you asshole!” she charged at the imp, but when her fist almost touched his face, she was thrown at the wall by some invisible force.

“Keep your filthy hands to yourself, Daxamite, or I’ll throw you into the sun,” Mxy said, watching Kara scramble back to her feet.

And then Mon-El achieved the state of spiritual illumination.

Mr Mxyzptlk hasn’t realized his wife switched their bodies. He didn’t know. _He didn’t know._

Mon-El slowly approached him.

“Kara Zor-El! Allowed me to take care of this blandsome guy for good,“ Mxy raised his hand and made a move like he wanted to flick his fingers ”And after we can-MMPH!”

Mon-El put his hands on Mxy’s cheeks and kissed him. Hard.

The whole DEO froze, the gasps and _ohmygods_! were heard.

“Darling?” Mxy said with a dazed expression when they pulled away. His legs were shaking.

Mon-El smiled. And then he tilted his head back, like he was inviting Mxy to kiss him again. When the imp closed his eyes and lowered his head, Mon-El hit Mxy’s nose with his forehead. There was a loud crack and a howl.

And then Mon-El crushed Mxyzptlk’s balls with his knee.

The 5th dimension creature fell to the floor with a high pitched squeak.

Mon-El’s smiled coldly and tugged the sleeves of his shirt, watching the guy squirming on the floor.

He was going to kill the imp. But first he was going to torture him. Methodically. Sadistically. Slowly. Painfully. For all of the things he went through because of this little shit.

“What the hell you do think you are doing?!!!” Mon-El groaned when Kara grasped the front of his shirt.

He had seriously had enough of yelling. He’s reached his limits.

“I’m dealing with the imp,” he growled annoyed.

“By kissing him?!”

“What was I supposed to do!? He was going to yeet you into the sun!”

The things were getting heated. The tension thickening. The walls were shaking. The pigeons were gurgling worriedly.

“Run for your lives!” someone from the DEO’s crew shouted weakly and all people started to looking for a cover.

“I was doing fine!”

“No you weren’t!”

“And there’s your macho side again!”  


“Me? Macho?! And who was it that charged at the 5th dimensional creature with their  bare hands, huh?!”

“I had a pan!”

“Uhm, shouldn’t we try to stop them?” Winn asked, peeping at the arguing couple from under the desk. The horrible white make up was melting and smearing all over his face because of his heavy sweating.

“Do you want to die?” Dana asked angrily, adjusting her awful wig.

“Charging mindlessly like a rhino is called a _plan_ these days?!”

“At least I don’t kiss random people!”

“Oh yes, you just allow them to flirt with you and shower you with- with stuff!”

“Sure, because it’s so much worse than marrying someone for real!”

“First of all, I ended it! Secondly, I didn’t want to marry her in the first place!”

“Of course you didn’t!  You just stopped loving me and found some new beautiful and kind woman to warm your bed!”

“I have never stopped loving you! But what about you, huh?! Did you ever even love me?!”

“I said I loved you, you stupid Daxamite!”

“Right before I left! Maybe it was just because you pitied me!”

“I do pity you, because you are an idiot! How can’t you see that you are the only person that I Iove?!”

They stopped screaming at each other, huffing angrily, faces red and inches apart.

And then the realization of what was said hit them hard.

“What?” Mon-El blinked. Did she just say she loved him? Like, in present tense?

“What?” Kara blinked. Did he just say he had never stopped loving her?

“What?” Mxy blinked, standing awkwardly and clutching his balls.

Was that the real Kara Zor-El? This screaming, violent creature? Who almost crushed his family jewels with brutal force? Because he… didn’t really like what he saw.

Kara and Mon-El slowly turned their heads and pierced him with furious looks.

“YOU. It’s your fault,” they said in tandem.

Mr Mxyzptlk gulped loudly and for the first time in his life he felt scared.

“That was unexpected,” Alex said, hiding behind a pillar.

“You tell me,” someone said next to her.

Alex looked at the beautiful redhead who was watching the whole scene, eating green popcorn from a bowl that was levitating in front of her.

The older Danvers sister turned pale, because she knew exactly who the creature was.

“Want some?” Gsptlsnz asked kindly and offered her popcorn.

Alex sweated a little. If she refused, she might be turned into a turtle or something. If she ate it, she could die.

“Haha, it’s not going to make me straight or something, right?” she joked nervously, took one piece and hesitantly put in into her mouth. It tasted good.

“No, of course not,” Gsptlsnz said and Alex swallowed it. “I think,” the 5th dimensional creature added absently and Alex choked.

The redhead was watching Mon-El and Kara grabbing Mr Mxyzptlk, ready to beat the crap out of him. “It looks like it’s time to save my hubby,” she said and disappeared.

She re-appeared right behind Kara and Mon-El and put both hands on their shoulders. When they turned their heads, she blew green smoke into their faces. And then knocked their heads together like on the first time. They collapsed to the floor.

Mr Mxyzptlk looked at his wife with admiration.

“Darling, my love. I made a mistake-” and then winced when she tugged his ear.

“Oh, I know you did, you shithead. Now we’re going to have a little talk at home about fidelity,” she smiled sweetly and dangerously. “I’m going to take care of him,” she waved at Alex and disappeared.

“Is everyone ok?” asked J’onn after few long moments, watching his agents, still wearing the horrible clothes, slowly come out from under the desks.

“I’m still gay!” Alex cheered.

“What a mess,” Dana took off the wig and gazed around.

“So, uhm, who is going to catch the pigeons?” Winn asked and everyone looked at J’onn.

He sighed. They seriously didn’t pay him enough.

*

The sun rays woke her up. Kara slowly opened her eyes and sighed dreamily. She was in her room, in her bed.

And then she remembered what happened. She gasped and put hands on her chest and… THANK RAO, she had her breast back and her face and her hair and everything else.

Kara exhaled slowly and then furrowed her brows because she was not the only one person breathing in the room. With heart loudly drumming in her chest, she turned her head and-

Mon-El was sleeping soundly next to her. Like he did so many times before she sent him away. Just now, she realized how much she had missed it.

She felt tears gathering in her eyes and she let them fall. They were happy tears. Tears of regained hope.

Kara didn’t know how long she was lying there on her side, just staring at him. Minutes? Hours? Who knew. Who cared.

And then she heard his heart rate fastened and he inhaled strongly. Mon-El stiffened and slowly opened his eyes. He raised his hands, looked at them and sighed in relief, when he identified them as his.

Well, not a panic reaction she expected.

“Hi,” Kara said quietly.

Mon-El slowly turned his head at looked at her.

Stormy gray met comets blue.

“Hi,” he said softly and put a lock of hair behind her ear. His fingers brushed her neck, making her shiver.

“We should talk,” she said, her eyes flickered to his lips, moving a little closer to him.

“We totally should,” he agreed, biting his lower lip.

There were so many thing to say, so many things to explain, so many things to discuss.

But well, sometimes it was easier to do things, instead of saying them.

“Mhm, just you know, I’m a little concerned,” she hummed and started to lazily draw invisible circles with her finger on his chest. And then moved it a little lower.

“About?” he said with his voice a little coarse, when her finger reached his abs.

That dark and misty look in her eyes. Mon-El knew exactly what it meant. He’s dreamt about it more times he could count in the past 8 years.

“You didn’t check if all parts of your body are in place.” She licked her lower lip and stared at him, her eyes full of wanting, hope and love.

“Want to help me check it?”

Kara shivered when she heard the tone of his voice. She really thought she was not going to hear it ever again.

Her finger moved lower and then stopped.

“Stupid question,” she murmured just before their lips crashed with a force.

*

“Can someone tell me what’s happening with James? He’s not answering his phone,” J’onn asked and Alex shrugged, occupied with writing a text message to Sam, asking if she and Ruby wanted to meet.

“I don’t know, but-” Winn said and then frowned at his computer.

“What’s wrong, agent Schott?”

“I detected an earthquake and multiple aftershocks in the center of National City and it’s impossible, because we are not in a seismic zone,” he furrowed his brows.

Alex and J’onn approached his desk and together they looked at the screen.

“Where was the epicentre?” the Martian asked.

“I’m checking and - _oh_.”

“It was good or bad _oh_ , Winn?” Alex rolled her eyes.

“Well, the epicentre was exactly… where Kara’s apartment is….”

Three of them started blankly at the monitor for few seconds.

“Let’s not talk about it,” Alex said finally.

“Yeah,” Winn agreed.

“That’s a very good idea,” J’onn admitted.

 

**THE END**

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Music Meister - 1, Mr Mxyzptlk - 2, lol.  
> Ms. Gsptlsnz is a real comic book character and Mr Mxyzptlk’s wife. For real. I shit you not.  
> Bolovaxians are real comic book race and well, they looked like folks that know how to throw a party ;D  
> And it totally should happen in the show because Mel playing Mon and Chris playing Kara? They would nail it. And damnnnn, it would be hilarious.  
> Thanks for reading, hope you liked it! :D


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